The results of Anam Cara's first annual Writer's Nightmare Book Jacket Review Contest are in! There were 72 excellent entries, providing lots of good laughs, and the judging was very close. In fact, so close that two people each won the three-day retreat to Anam Cara prize. Many thanks go to Vanessa O'Loughlin and her writer's resource website (www.writing.ie) for partnering the first Anam Cara contest and to the three judges (who shall remain anonymous so they can't be unduly influenced next year!). Here are the winning and shortlisted Nightmare Reviews:
Máire T. Robinson:
"This novel deserves a place in the literary canon, from where it should be propelled with great force into the Irish Sea."
"Publishers ask if a debut writer has a second book in him. In the case of No Siesta, they should have asked if he had a first."
On the short list (in no particular order):
"There should be a law restricting authors releasing such unadulterated rubbish on unsuspecting readers."
"If the second half of this novel had the scintillating verve, so lacking
in the first half, it would be a blockbuster."
"At last, a cure for insomnia!"
"Instead of writing this book the author could have been off doing something more productive, like counting the grains of sand on Killiney beach, or cleaning blades of grass with a damp cloth. He would have saved the world from experiencing the literary equivalent of the Black Death."
"If the writing reminds you of Oscar Wilde, it's only because, after a while, you'll find yourself saying to the book, 'One of us has got to go.'"
"No Siesta is aptly named. The book is a nightmare."
"Rumour has it that No Siesta is only half-finished. Having read advance extracts, let’s pray it stays that way."
"Open this book at your peril
Don't say you haven't been warned
To continue and actally buy it
It's you and not me to be scorned.
I've warned you, I've warned you, I've warned you
Don't say that you haven't been told
To proceed to the checkout with this book in hand
Your brain cells will surely explode!
"Wanna know why Borders is going under??? This book!"